From New York back to Puerto Rico

Mini TU reunion! 

Me, Big bro n Mini Me

From Big bro to Lil bro!

I know it’s been awhile folks but New York has been a whirlwind!  Let’s see last posting I was knee deep in snow, so I guess it will be best to just summarize my time in New York and move forward from there.  Ok, so I was freezing pretty much every day that I was there.  Apparently my body got very use to low 80’s and didn’t respond well to low 30’s!  Only in these past few days am I not fighting back curses to the cold as soon as I wake up!  Next, these last 10 days I have been taking a long hard look at my family and friends.  I have allowed myself to worry, to be angered, to be annoyed, and to worry some more before I snapped out of it and put everything into perspective.  Any and all of these pains that I am experiencing, that any of us experience, lead to growth.  As a child I remember sitting in the living room cradling my knees as tight as I could, popping aspirin with tears rolling down my face.  My knees were in terrible pain and I didn’t understand why.  My mom sat next to me, stroked my hair as she often did, and said “Honey, you’re experiencing growing pains.  You’re body is growing and sometimes its painful, but its normal so don’t worry.”  She was right then and she’s right now.   I needed that reminder and God knew that.

Isa + Misha = FIERCE!

Ma, Pa n Jaden bring in 2011

Gen, Matt n Jenna

Sonia, Nicole and the infamous Joelle

Dancing Machines

So, just as things were getting down to the wire with Robert (my little brother who has enlisted in the Air Force), I was feeling ridiculously overprotective and borderline crazy.  I popped in a sermon that I had ordered from my church.  And what do you know, the message was eerily similar to the message my mother gave me over 15 years ago.  Pain (be it physical or emotional) leads to growth.  Robert has to live.  He has to learn.  He has to venture out on his own.  My parents have to go into this next chapter of their lives.  They have to experience a life of just the two of them again….this time older and wiser but (hopefully) just as happy.  My sister-in-law and brother have to develop their family and navigate through parenthood just as my parents did.  I have to move forward too.  I can’t be with my nephew and neices daily, but I can still play a significant role in their lives.  I can’t control the choices my family or friends make, but I can be there for them when they are in need.  And whether they are in need or not I will pray for all of them. 

My goodbye "penpal packet" to the kids

So, as I drive in the passenger seat of my father’s car and look out onto the New York skyline, I review just how much I’m leaving behind.  I realize how beautiful that skyline is and how its been the backdrop for a majority of my life. As I travel over the Whitestone Bridge, I feel more like a New Yorker than ever before.  It’s hard to put into words.  But while staring onto those buildings I think of the Cottes. While driving past Queens I remember the countless mornings Pa and I traveled to the pool here for our daily workout.  As we merge off towards my terminal I think of my mom, imagining her at work with her mind off of us and a smile on her face as she brews a fresh cup of coffee for herself.  As I hand over my bags I feel the lump in my throat grow bigger.  Finally, while hugging Pa goodbye I let the tears stream that I had been fighting to hide the whole ride here.  I hold him tight and when he tries to pull away assuring me in a cracking voice that he’ll see me soon, I hold onto him tighter.  “I love you” is all I can say, but there is so much to say and so little time.  His car is alone and I have to get on line.  As I wait to remove my shoes and sweater I think of Bibi and her “pocket full of love” (a notebook she secretly had the family sign filled with encouraging messages for Robert and I).  My eyes are puffy and people are staring, trying to figure out my story.  This is my story…I am loved beyond measure.  I am thankful to God for all that he has blessed me with and although this is more painful than I ever imagined, I am on my way to growth.  We all are.  To my family and friends, you are in my heart and in my prayers and I will see you soon.

The plane is packed.  The tears are still coming down, falling like raindrops on my cheeks.  I want to make them stop but I can’t.  I guess I need to let it out before I get to Puerto Rico anyway.  No sense in starting a new chapter with a heavy heart.  Until tomorrow…

PS – I am once again surrounded by screaming, crying, and kicking-the-back-of-my-seat children.  iPod here I come.

"Are you gonna follow me to Texas?!"