It started just how I wanted it to...early rise, followed by daily readings, followed by a trip to the local track for a long overdue jog in the crisp morning air. Check, check, check. Next, I was heading home to jump into my pilates/yoga regimen. Then, I would start on the laundry list of to-dos I had assembled the night before. But, just as I was starting my car and heading home, my phone rang. It was Mama's neighbor. They were in the hospital. They'd been there since about 5am. Mama was experiencing such a severe pain in her arm she could not get herself out of bed.
From then on out it was hours upon hours in the extremely cold hospital emergency room. Thankfully, she was in a bed by the time I got there, and a stroke/heart attack had been ruled out...but the pain had hardly subsided. It wasn't until almost 5pm - yes, 12 hours later - that they realized she had dislocated her shoulder. For 12 hours she suffered through injections, tubes of blood being sucked out of her, apathetic technicians who borderline manhandled her, and numerous, personality varying nurses.
Her neighbor/bff was there the whole way through. And, while she certainly can't seem to stay still, and has an apparent issue with more than a few minutes of silence, she is an excellent follow upper. She is precise. If they say they're coming to check her pressure in two hours, well she's checking her phone every half hour to make sure they come when they said they would. When they don't come, because they never do, she is making her rounds looking for the nurse. I am thankful for her and have even begun to admire her.
 |
| Dislocated right shoulder |
Once Mama was finally diagnosed, we were told they were going to sedate her for a short time so that they may put her bone back where it belonged. Then they'd take another X-ray to make sure nothing else was awry. How does an 88 year old woman dislocate her shoulder? Well, the answer to this particular question, when it comes to Mama, we will never specifically know. But, my hard headed, warrior woman, grandma still rearranges furniture. She still mops her house, still insists on gardening, and as if that weren't enough, she does stuff like gets dizzy or falls and tells you about it days later after she's picked herself up and kept it moving. Because of this, a few months ago, I got her the Life Alert bracelet. Sadly, she didn't actually use it last night. Lucky for us, her neighbor/bff heard unusual commotion against the wall their bedrooms share. She called out to Mama through the window to check if she was ok. That, was when she discovered she wasn't.
Today was emotionally draining. I continued to battle feelings of inferiority, of naivety, and of pure freight. When the doctor told us Mama would have to be in a sling for the next two weeks, I honestly freaked out inside...because my first thought was...I'm going to have to bathe her. How selfish right? Why is that even a thought? Well, it was...that and every other foul, funny, and disturbing thing that may pass through ones mind when they realize bathing an 88 year old is in their very near future. I honestly had a moment. How can I get out of this? Who else can do it? I thought. No one but you was the immediate answer.
By the time we got home, Mama had had a mini bathroom accident in my car and was still a little dazed from the drugs she was given at the hospital. My feet were sore from standing for so many hours and we were all exhausted. I knew shower time was coming and I knew that meant showtime for me.
I am pleased to report I put my big girl hat on and I just went to work. It was fairly easy once I put myself in Mama's shoes. Here is a very proud and independent woman who now has to depend on another for just about everything for the next few weeks. She is tired, she is embarrassed, she is feeling her mortality and she is counting on a neighbor and a granddaughter that, two short years ago, she had a distant relationship with...at best. She deserves my utmost respect, my upbeat demeanor to lighten the mood, and my compassion. So, I got a washcloth, I made the water comfortably warm, and I began to treat her like she was at a spa. She deserved it after all she went through today. As I continued to bathe her, I thought about the numerous toddlers I've bathed in my life. This wasn't much different. While many of my friends are dealing with terrible two's, accidents, bath time adventures, and first time boo boos....I kinda am too. It's like I'm in bizarro Mommy Bootcamp. The circle of life I guess. I'm doing my best to embrace it. Fighting feelings of "What the hell am I doing here?" because the truth of the matter is I know ...
Challenge accepted. What a day...of "discovery".
No comments:
Post a Comment