Brothers & Sisters

The "every Ramirez" photo

Hermanos.  This past Saturday, a major "Puerto Rico to-do" was scratched off my list.  My beloved Tio Roberto and his wife Nereida, threw a family reunion!  We got more than half there, as six out of the ten who are still with us were in attendance.  This was, without a doubt, a victory!

The personality differences definitely shined from time to time...little miss diva Mama removed herself from the group at one point because a bottle of rum was on the table.  She is the eldest and it is quite evident that she is a bit of a separatist.  Speaks when spoken to, you know, that sort of stuff.

Eventually, with a bit of help from the more outgoing, younger generation of cousins, she warmed up.  Before I knew it, she was singing her heart out to classic boleros, providing enthusiastic backup vocals for a group karaoke session, and shoulder shimmied the night away to salsa, merengue, and even reggaeton tunes.

I'm getting my photos one by one!

The reunion not only brought brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles together, it also managed to shine a light on just how close Mama and I have become.  When it was dinner time, I served her a plate.  As I walked up to her with plate in hand, I spotted her adamantly shaking her finger and head in unison (as any mature 5 year old would do).  By the time I got to her, she announced (sternly and proudly), "No, no.  I'm not going to eat."  This, of course, was declared in front of an audience of her sisters...one of whom had already deemed the food not to her liking (this sister, I must add, is painfully skinny and doesn't seem to eat much of anything...further in that discussion I will not tread).  So, I looked Mama straight in her eye and as softly, warmly and equally sternly as I could, I said "I'm getting my plate now and we'll eat together."  As I walked away, mumbles of protest continued to fill the warm night air.  

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I prepared myself for the battle ahead of me, but upon my return, "motherly" instincts simply kicked in.  I removed her from her "audience" by encouraging her to face me with her plate.  I then asked her to pray over our meal (as she does everyday with me at lunch).  As she eyed her food, I reminded her I prepared the salad myself and we made the guineo escabeche (recipe coming in next post) together.  I saw an air of comfort fall over her face as she picked up her fork and started for the leafy greens.  Finally, I sealed the deal with her favorite...a nice cold Coke.  Before I knew it my Mama's plate was spotless!  She even ate her dessert (and half of mine...what a greedy lady)!

She arrived clutching her purse, refusing to eat, and being almost anti-social.  She ended up singing, chair dancing, laughing, smiling for tons of pictures, and being the LAST sibling to leave the party.  

Titi Rosa, Mish and Mama

Mama with one of her many nephews

Mama Maria is the big sister.  Serious.  Independent.  As one of her brother-in-laws describes her, "..una guerrera...siempre" ("...a warrior...always").  This may not be the most popular personality in a family, but she is still family.  She is a mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, daughter, and sister.  And these, well these are her siblings...and there's nothing she can do to change that.  Whether they want to admit it or not, they need each other and probably always have.  Tio Robert gets that.  On Saturday, the veil seemed to lift for many of them, and they are now getting it too.

Titi Fanita, Mish, and Titi Virgin

I am one of three.  The middle child.  The only girl.  The wild card.  My older brother is the definition of stability.  Responsible.  A meat and potatoes kinda guy.  The "little" one is taller than all of us.  Charming.  Warm, yet cool under pressure.  Together, somos hermanos.  While we may change, that fact never will.

Right now, the three of us are separated.  One in Japan, one in New York and one in Puerto Rico.  Conversations are far and few between, as we can no longer count on Ma's next BBQ to catch up.  Between the three of us, there are currently three different time zones, three children, journeys of self discovery, bills, questions of next steps, significant others, oh, and not to mention, aging parents.  It now takes effort and a level of consideration for each other's lives...separate from our role as brother or sister.

Thank you technology!

Saturday night, when I got home, I e-mailed my little brother.  I'm looking for a good old fashioned sibling conversation.  No one else, just him and I.  Its long overdue.  Big brother can expect a call shortly as well.

Who picks up the phone, who sends the e-mail/text, or pays the first visit just doesn't matter.  Forgotten birthdays, anniversaries, and time lapses don't matter.  We're human.  Life happens.  What matters is that when we reach out, we are received...with genuine love.  THAT is the only thing that matters.

My brothers are special because they are my brothers.  We were gifted to each other and grew up together in a household that only we truly get--- because we lived it.  The good, bad, ugly, and beautiful...we shared those together.  Blood runs thick and what we have to offer each other is support...by birthright.


The pride I felt as a little girl watching my big brother play the trumpet, pitch at his numerous baseball games, or even graduate, is the same pride I feel today when he does something simple like pick me up from the airport.  He's there.  Late, on time, whatever.  I know he'll be there.  Siempre.  

My little brother can become Andre the Giant, he can learn discipline, and be a proud member of the US Air Force...but that hug, that smile, and the traditional head scratch that makes him 8 years old again, that will always be him and I.  Siempre.

These connections keep a family united.  These connections lead to cousins knowing cousins.  Family becoming friends rather than strangers.  This world is hard enough to navigate, why not face it together?

cousin love