Family Juggle

Cramming into the minivan!

My less than perfect San Juan mini vacation rolled right into a mini family reunion in San Antonio, Texas!  We came together to proudly watch my little brother (who is not so little anymore) graduate from Air Force boot camp.  Seven adults in one house, consisting of five women and two men, could have easily proved to be a disasterous mix.  But, we still came together to congratulate a kid whom we were all pretty worried about not even 6 months ago.  Who we met in San Antonio was a refined gentleman, exuding the confidence and promise we always knew was there.

Momma's Boys!

Robert was only given one day where he was allowed to go off base with us.  That day, he was finally able to kick back, relax, lay around our rental home and creep back into the fold of our family.  At one point during that day I needed to take a moment outside alone...this film of sadness had suddenly rolled over me.  As I searched for internal peace on a bench outside, someone creeped up next to me.  Thankfully that someone was my mom.  Thankfully she needed a manicure.  And so it started...between filing her nails and massaging lotion into her hands, we counseled each other.  I was watching my baby brother transform before my eyes and while I have readily accepted the complete overhaul my entire family is undergoing, I don't think I was prepared for this feeling.

"He's my baby boy."

Watching, listening and thinking

I explained to mom "He's changing...and I just don't want to lose him...I love him so much."  My voice cracked, so I looked down and continued to lotion her hands.  The last thing I wanted was anyone of the other 1,000 family members to come out the house and see me crying....I didn't need a telephone game of "Misha is crying outside but I don't know why" to begin.  As I tried to literally suck up my tears, Mom responded in a voice as warm as the sun, "How do you think I feel?  He's my last one.  I went through this with all of you and believe it or not, you have all changed through the years and you will continue to change.  Misha, we're family and we just have to keep loving each other.  This is life.  But, it's not easy for me either.  He's my baby boy.  You're all my babies and you're all grown up."  My father had been lingering a bit...he seems to have a knack for hearing my sniffle from a mile away...he got the jist of what we were talking about and added his two sense, "Baby girl, this is not easy for any of us, believe me.  But, we're all going to be just fine."  Suddenly that film of sadness subsided.  I wasn't alone.  All I needed to do was talk.

Me n Ma strolling San An

Me, Pa and The Riverwalk

It sounds weird but, in a way, my parents have become my friends.  I think they've become easier to talk to as a result of a few factors, one significant one is the way I view them has changed.  I want to know them and I want them to know me.  I respect them and truly value their opinion.  No, we don't always agree, but the platform is there for conversation.  I can vent.  I can listen.  I can be honest, because while I may value their opinion, I am no longer worried about whether they are judging me or not.  Often times, judgement is self inflicted.  We're riddled with a nagging sense of insecurity that we tell ourselves is coming from others, when really its a prison we put ourselves in. 

Outdoor Salon

Wacka Wacka!

Mom's manicure rolled into an eyebrow treatment, which led to a manicure for Auntie Val, which led to Cousin Bibi offering her nail painting assistance and finally followed by Titi Annie's company... all in the San Antonio sun.  Meanwhile, the boys were enjoying some college hoops in the house.

  Before I knew it I was dropping my parents off to the airport, once again fighting down a tremendous lump in my throat.  Seeing them off was torturous.  I just wanted them to throw me in their suitcase and take me home.  "Please come visit me soon." I pleaded.  I was officially smacked in the face with home sickness.  My mom grabbed me tightly and whispered in my ear "Misha, I know you're being pulled in a lot of directions right now.  I know its difficult sometimes but remember how strong you are.  Remember to continue to pray...look at what prayer has done for our family.  I love you and I will see you soon."  Remember to continue to pray...that came from my mom.  My mom who, just last year, could be found scoffing and saying, "...yes I'm coming to church today but (sigh) we're not making this a habit..."  God is so good, through him all things are possible!

Big Bro, Lil Sis

Why is Danny so cool?