Customer Service for Dummies...

I am a pain in the butt...in a very general sense, just about anyone who has entered any sort of relationship with me (be it romantically, friendly, or family) has at one time or another said or thought these very sentiments (among others) about me.  In most of those situations, however, I have tried to curb my pain-in-the-buttness --- except when I am placed in the role of customer.  I'm sure it was a mix of my father and my sister/cuz who somehow drilled this into me through my developmental years, but either way, along the way, I have developed a need to support businesses that respect and value me as a customer.

Unfortunately, the days of "so sorry ma'am let's get that corrected" are seeming to slow down.  Here, in Puerto Rico, I am beginning to get the eery feeling that those days never really existed.  Here, it seems I am the only one up in arms about bad phone service, crappy mechanics, unjustified bill increases, $6 a gallon milk (I tell no lies people), incompetent city workers, office hours that obviously only work for the unemployed/retired crowd, doctors who shut their office down for a week AFTER booking days and days worth of patients (and not calling to reschedule), the list goes on.  Today, for sake of time and personal sanity I will touch on the "easiest" of all these.  The bad phone.

Had to "go white" on 'em

Back in August, Mama and I decided (after Mama was solicited by a telemarketer) to upgrade her home phone plan by adding wireless internet into the mix.  For $9 more, we'd have secure wi-fi and a free modem....done deal.  About a week later, our nightmare started.  For two weeks I had a modem but no service.  I called and was told it was being taken care of.  Two weeks later I discovered that was a blatant lie and a report hadn't even been made!  All of this information comes to me after hours of automated systems followed by hours of looped smooth latin jazz elevator music to keep me "entertained".  I also discovered that asking if the person on the other end could speak English so that we could better communicate the numerous issues was senseless.  Keeping me confused seemed to be part of the plan.  So, this week, when I received yet another erroneous bill from this company (Claro is the name becaues I need to name names), I took a deep breath and I "went white".  In no way am I trying to be offensive to any of my Caucasian American friends, but sometimes, unfortunately, to get things done the way you as a customer need them to get done, you gotta "go white".  So, as soon as the customer service rep picked up the phone and greeted me with her mile a minute Spanish greeting, I met her with my mile a minute Mish radio voice...never did I hesitate to worry if she could understand me nor did I bother giving her an opening by answering her in any way in Spanish.  She quickly put me on hold as I heard her hastily find someone, telling them they just needed to pick up the line because they couldn't handle me.  As soon as the English speaker picked up, and told me I had to be transferred to billing.  I put my "white" foot down and said "Let me bring you up to speed with what has been going on...I do NOT want to be transferred to anyone and if there is any way you can handle this issue, I would greatly appreciate it."  The result?  Ms. Santiago agreed, got on the case, and even brought in her supervisor, Ms. Pagan, in to really make some magic happen.  No elevator music.  No automated system.  Ms. Pagan even came back on the line every now and then to apologize for the wait and update me on her progress regarding fixing and FINALLY crediting my account.  It was one small victory but one that took over TWO MONTHS to accomplish.  I am not use to this nor do I want to get use to this.  Why did it have to come to this?  Why is getting what is just and fair from a company seeming like a part time job??

About a week ago I snuck in and out of New York for some family business (again Happy Bday Kris!) and during that time I was recounting my numerous frustrations with the manner in which business is done on la isla.  While reflecting, my mom just turned, looked at me and said "And why is it that you want to live there again?"  Initially, I shrugged her off, but it wasn't long before I had yet another oh-my goodness-can-you-believe-this-is-what-happens-in-PR story.  Again, she looked at me sideways and said "And your thinking of settling down there permanently for what reason?"  I hear her.  I get it.  She's not saying anything I haven't already (and continue to) wrestled with.  While for me the issue is Puerto Rico and its complete ignorance to customer service, the bigger issue is a lack of involvement.  A lack of demand.  Companies don't give it because we no longer expect it.  Sure, from my perspective, its way easier in the US to be up in arms about something, call the company or write a letter and get results.  But, more and more even that is getting difficult.  The checks and balances line has blurred and somehow we are beginning to believe that we owe them something.  That we can't live without what this company is offering.  Like we are not the ones who keep their business running.

Partially, like in the case of my issue with Jet Blue, these companies do have us by the cojones.  And so, they don't really have to do much for you....and they know it.  Let me explain, Jet Blue is to Western Puerto Rico what Greyhound use to be for Philly/New York commuters (before Peter Pan and the suspect but cheap China Bus...shout out to my TU folks).  Basically, if you're trying to get to Western PR and you don't want to embark on a 2+ hour drive from San Juan, you have to fly Jet Blue.  Sure, you could try Continental, but their schedules, seats, destinations and prices all SUCK.  So, for all intense purposes, Jet Blue has a monopoly because of their "cheap", comfortable and reliable service.  Normally, I am a Jet Blue fan, but as I've said before to be happy in life doesn't always mean you've got cash flow.  Tight budgets call for strategic planning.  So, on Monday when a ticket from NY to PR is $124 and I have to wait for a check to come in and on Tuesday its $165...well, that's an issue for me.  For most of you reading this, that price difference is nothing.  A drop in the bucket.  I know, I use to be you.  But, that is just not my reality.  And, more and more, it is not a lot of folks reality....watching your money is a necessity nowadays and watching how easily and quickly something that was originally valued at $99 can climb to as high as $900+ (it happened to my cousin) is just disrespectful.  So, in my furor I wrote.  I wrote a non-angry sounding, concise letter to Jet Blue explaining my situation, hoping for wonderfully-satisfactory-customer-appreciation-we-will-honor-the-lower-ticket-price loveliness.  Instead, I got a manufactured, run of the mill, sorry-you-have-to-take-it-up-the-tailpipe-we-can't-help-you-we-know-you-have-to-get-home-so-find-a-credit-card-or-sugar-daddy response.  Disappointment.  Utter and complete disappointment and worry about the seemingly waning power of the consumer.  I was jaded and beginning to lose hope....but then one supermarket changed all that.

One of the last times I went back home, I wracked up on groceries.  Puerto Rico isn't exactly packed full of Whole Foods or Trader Joe's or even Fairways.  Getting organic, vegan or vegetarian items are difficult and very expensive over here (uh oh here comes mom's sideway look and voice in my head again).  So, I did what I usually do and I rolled out to Fairway and went on a shopping spree.  It wasn't until I got back to Puerto Rico and began to balance my checkbook (yes, there are people who still do that) that I realized that I had been overcharged close to $25 dollars!  The cashier had made a huge math error with my Quinoa purchase AND the Quinoa flour that I purchased was expired.  I, by this time, was jaded and didn't want to deal with another damn customer service person.  In my mind I thought Let it go, what can they really do?  You're in PR, you can't prove the flour is old and you can't prove you don't actually have 8 boxes of Quinoa in your cupboard.  But, that little customer-is-always-right-I-must-be-heard-pain-in-the-butt person inside of me just couldn't let it go.  So, I shot them an email.  A few days later a very apologetic, very concerned customer relations person responded.  She asked me for  a few details from my receipt and within 48 hours I had an e-mail from her emphatically apologizing, informing me that my account would be credited and encouraging me to continue shopping with her store.  As a result of that experience, I heart Fairway.

I will continue to spend my precious money there and feel good about it.  We should feel good about the places we spend our money and feel good about the things we spend our money on.  No, you don't have to occupy Wall Street to make a change (although it is awesome if you decide to head down there for the right reasons...not just to be part of a circus), but YOU DO HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.  Don't allow yourself to be kept "busy" with technology and day to day drudgery.  Take a moment and look at the big picture.  The power has, is, and will always be in our hands...as long as we remain conscious.  We are the 99%!  Write a letter, voice a concern, call a congressman, demand recycling in your neighborhood (that's more of a PR issue...yet again), whatever it is...but stand for something.  Not just empty jokes, I don't care attitudes, and ignorance is bliss demeanors...