Fleeting Memories

Do you ever have moments when you just stop and realize you miss someone?  Be it a loved one lost, a far-away friend, or an estranged former lover?  You just see something that reminds you of a moment with them, you eat something that you know they'd just love, or your mind wanders just far enough to come up with a scenario involving them (be it from the past or totally fictitious 'what if' scenarios).  So, what do we do with that?

Some of us smile to ourselves, and with a hint of sadness, we continue to move forward.  Some, may allow it to linger just enough to lead to an action.  A grave visit, a prayer, an overdue phone call, or even a journal entry.

Others, well others, may hold on a little too long.  The memories become weights.  Stresses binding us, pulling us in like waves only surfers can appreciate.  A fleeting memory, a familiar scent, a Facebook post, a song, can all become a trigger for regrets, incessant review, and destructive repetitions.

We can often trace this behavior back to childhood.  I, for instance, was the kid who drank warm chocolate milk from the bottle way too late into life.  I also battled my way into my parents bed waaaay past the "cute" stage.  Oh, and did I mention my babysitter anxiety?? Misha could often be found crying by the door for about a half hour AFTER her folks left the house.  I'm old enough to remember this, so once again, way past the "cute" stage.  Wait, I almost forgot about my first few years in school, no picnic there either...for my parents and teachers alike.  The point is, as a kid I just couldn't let go.

Eventually, my parents threw out the bottles, FORCED me out of their bed, and went out on dates, whether I liked it or not.  And well, I had to go to school, so either I went my whole life being dubbed "the cry baby" or I cut it out.

Thankfully, as time passed, I ventured out and I found my wings.  But, just because you've got wings, doesn't mean you can't still get lost.

Stopping, resting, and gaining your bearings are essential.  Just be sure that where you land doesn't become self-imposed quicksand.  Reflecting, while re-energizing.  Keep pushing.  Keep flying.  Lord knows I am.