First things first...

Ok so here's the deal...my name is Michelle Ann Gonzalez.  We'll start there because growing up, I was always uneasy with my full name.  See, the Michelle part wasn't the issue.  It was pretty straight to the point, spelled correctly (in my humble opinion) with two l's and quite pretty.  It also helped that my nickname since as far back as I could remember was "Misha" so I always felt unique.  I always knew who was talking to me and for what purpose.  Michelle = formal.  Misha = family.  Later, Mish = college.

Back to the point, my uneasiness with my name.  Ann.  This is probably the biggest problem I have with my name only second to the combo of Michelle + Ann.  See, I wanted to know how Luz Elenia and Albert 'Chico' Gonzalez somehow sat in the hospital and said "You know what would sound great with Gonzalez...Michelle Ann!"  "Yes, honey, that's perfect!"  Really?!  Throughout my life I've vocalized my distaste for my full name and often questioned my mom on this name thing.  This is usually how the conversation went (who am I kidding...GOES):

Me: "Ma, Ann, really?  Like why?"

Ma: "Misha, I don't understand why you have such a hangup about your middle name.  I think its very nice."

Me:"Ma, Michelle Ann Gonzalez?  Its like Maria Conchita Walker.  It just doesn't go.  Could you get anymore apple pie and American flag?!"

Ma: Sucks her teeth and has a tinge of frustration in her voice. "I named you after your aunt."

Me: (sidenote: I use to accept this answer but as I got older, this next point occurred to me) "Yeah but Ma, Titi's name is Santa Ana.  So if you really wanted to name me after her I'd be Michelle Santa or Michelle Santa Ana or Michelle Ana NOT Michelle Ann."

Ma: Sucking her teeth yet again and walking away "Que mucha hotha!" (translation: What a pain in the ass you are!)

But now, in hindsight, my name serves as a perfect analogy for who I am and the internal struggle that has led me to Packin' It Up For Puerto Rico. 

By heritage, I am Puerto Rican.  My mother (Luz Elenia) was born on the island and at the age of 12 arrived in New York, along with her two brothers (Raynaldo and Salvador Jr.) and little sister (Santa Ana).  She speaks fluent Spanish and after a short time in school, spoke fluent English as well.  Her penmanship is stellar, and if you ask me, she is and has always been a class act.  My father (Albert 'Chico') was born on the streets of New York City...literally.  A postman delivered him...no lie...at least I don't think.  The postman's name was Albert and so there you have it.  'Chico' is not his official middle name but since he didn't have one and somehow he earned that nickname through the years, he would claim it as his middle name every now and then.  He speaks Spanish well, but not as well as my mom.  He's a protector, provider and quite a charmer.  Since I am the only girl of three children, he has also made it very difficult for any man after my heart as I am a daddy's girl through and through. 

Growing up with the Gonzalez clan was awesome.  A lot of love and just as much English.  In fact, as I can recall the only time I really heard Spanish spoken at home was when my relatives from Puerto Rico called, when my dad was saying something fresh (usually a curse...which of course were the words I picked up the fastest), or when my parents were talking about something they didn 't want us to understand.  So there you have it.  A Puerto Rican girl with a very Puerto Rican last name and a very American first and middle name. 


Sure, throughout the years I've worked on the language but I've finally come to a point where Spanish classes and workbooks just aren't enough.  I need to know more than just hola and muy bien.  I need to strengthen my relationship with my last living grandparent and hopefully through her and these experiences, get a better understanding of who I am and where I come from so that one day I may pass this information on to my children.  Therefore, before any more time passes and before I can come up with an excuse to not do this, I am Packin' It Up for Puerto Rico.  By early December of 2010, Michelle Ann Gonzalez will be living in Puerto Rico looking to finally embrace every part of mi nombre...first, middle and last.


This blog will serve as my online diary.  The preparation for one of the biggest decisions of my life and the experience once I am there.  Ladies and gentlemen, a change is a comin'...are you ready to join me on my journey?  Follow me.  Post comments....maybe even help me pack ;)